How Not To Be Wrong: The Art of Changing Your Mind
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- Create Date：2021-05-09 08:16:47
- Update Date：2025-09-24
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- Author：James O'Brien
- ISBN：0753557711
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Summary
'Simply Brilliant' THE SECRET BARRISTER
'Passionate and brilliantly argued' DAVID OLUSOGA
'An admirably personal guide' MARINA HYDE
'Smart， analytical， self-aware and important' ALASTAIR CAMPBELL
THE INTIMATE， REVEALING NEW BOOK FROM THE AUTHOR OF THE BESTSELLING， PRIZE-WINNING HOW TO BE RIGHT
There's no point having a mind if you're not willing to change it
James O'Brien has built well over a million loyal listeners to his radio show by dissecting the opinions of callers live on air， every day。 But winning the argument doesn't necessarily mean you're right。
In this deeply personal book， James turns the mirror on himself to reveal what he has changed his mind about and why， and explores how examining and changing our own views is our new civic duty in a world of outrage， disagreement and echo chambers。 He writes candidly about the stiff upper lip attitudes and toxic masculinity that coloured his childhood， and the therapy and personal growth that have led him question his assumptions and explore new perspectives。 Laying open his personal views on everything from racial prejudice to emotional vulnerability， from fat-shaming to tattoos， he then delves into the real reasons -- often irrational or unconscious -- he holds them。
Unflinchingly honest， revealing and funny， How Not to Be Wrong is a tonic for a world more divided than ever and a personal manifesto for a better way of thinking and living。
Because after all， if we can't change our own minds we'll never really be able to change anyone else's。
Reviews
Adam
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A well argued and frank discussion on the importance of having an open mind and being objective enough to see when you are wrong and change your mind。If you are familiar with James O'Brien's radio show on LBC， you should know what to expect here。 O'Brien frankly discusses the importance of being able to acknowledge when you are in the wrong - but also be able to embrace the new 'truth' you have found。 Partly autobiographical， the majority of the book is made up of transcripts of his radio show a A well argued and frank discussion on the importance of having an open mind and being objective enough to see when you are wrong and change your mind。If you are familiar with James O'Brien's radio show on LBC， you should know what to expect here。 O'Brien frankly discusses the importance of being able to acknowledge when you are in the wrong - but also be able to embrace the new 'truth' you have found。 Partly autobiographical， the majority of the book is made up of transcripts of his radio show and where he himself， with the benefit of hindsight， acknowledges when he was wrong and comes to terms with some of his own， factually bankrupt， prejudices。 While perhaps not as illuminating as he might hope O'Brien hits some important ideals home and gives a fully rounded discussion on the subjects he addresses， if occasionally labouring the point。 。。。more
Cynthia Maggard
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An excellent read， by someone very much with their finger on the pulse of （UK） society。 If James’ thoughts and opinions offend you， check yourself for a conscience。
Peter Carr
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Pleasantly surprised by how strong this book is。 I definitely feel that the inability to change ones mind is a major flaw in modern society ending in our current extreme polarisation。 This book perfectly demonstrates how creating important conversations and being open to 'changing our mind' could be vital to society healing its wounds and moving forward。 Pleasantly surprised by how strong this book is。 I definitely feel that the inability to change ones mind is a major flaw in modern society ending in our current extreme polarisation。 This book perfectly demonstrates how creating important conversations and being open to 'changing our mind' could be vital to society healing its wounds and moving forward。 。。。more
Fiona
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Absolutely brilliant。 I read this in two sittings。 “James O’Brien， thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this book， you’ll never know how much it has helped me”。
Jonny Brick
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The difficult second book handled astutely， with excellent chapters on handling trans issues and the lived experience of black people， in an attempt to understand himself。 It's a memoir disguised as a self-help book。 Smart， as ever。 The difficult second book handled astutely， with excellent chapters on handling trans issues and the lived experience of black people， in an attempt to understand himself。 It's a memoir disguised as a self-help book。 Smart， as ever。 。。。more
Greta （Upcloseandbookish）
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An interesting and thought-provoking book。 For me， the ability to change your mind is a sign of wisdom that comes with maturity。 How Not To Be Wrong is a humorous book with really engaging writing。 Three questions that I took from the book and I will use in my everyday life are: "What are you afraid of？"， "What are you really angry about？" and "How would you feel if the roles were reversed？" An interesting and thought-provoking book。 For me， the ability to change your mind is a sign of wisdom that comes with maturity。 How Not To Be Wrong is a humorous book with really engaging writing。 Three questions that I took from the book and I will use in my everyday life are: "What are you afraid of？"， "What are you really angry about？" and "How would you feel if the roles were reversed？" 。。。more
Michael White
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A must read！Such honesty and self analysis is rarely so well examined or approached with a wry sense of humour。 Educationally illuminating too！
Alex Taylor
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Disappointing。
Matthew Gildea
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As a keen enjoyer of James O’Brien’s previous book ‘How To Be Right’， it was unlikely that outside of a shift in personality for either of us， I would find this book anything short of interesting。 The fact that it challenged me and the way I have gone about certain interactions in my professional and personal life was a troublesome， but ultimately excellent bonus。 Being self aware is one of the most important attributes - and especially so in a climate where divisions run deep across politics， s As a keen enjoyer of James O’Brien’s previous book ‘How To Be Right’， it was unlikely that outside of a shift in personality for either of us， I would find this book anything short of interesting。 The fact that it challenged me and the way I have gone about certain interactions in my professional and personal life was a troublesome， but ultimately excellent bonus。 Being self aware is one of the most important attributes - and especially so in a climate where divisions run deep across politics， sports， even tribal workplace relationships！ Knowing your enemy， so to speak， and understanding different viewpoints， and acknowledging that opposition doesn’t （and shouldn’t in most cases） disparage friendships， is something lost on many of us。 And being able to admit that sometimes， you， or your beliefs may not be right， is a relief， even though it may seem impossible at first。 With his trademark repertoire of anecdotes from his radio show to back his many misgivings， and evolving in opinion， that rather than showing something indecisive， portrays a human who when confronted with evidence head on， can acknowledge and adjust his viewpoint。 This is what we all strive for， and would make the world far more comfortable with itself。 What’s right once， isn’t always， and what’s right next， won’t be forever。 If you’re aware of James and his radio show， no doubt you’ll enjoy this as much as his other work。 If you despise him， you won’t like it。 But that shouldn’t put you off finding out what he has to say， and discovering how you too can not be wrong。 。。。more
Matt Whitby
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It was nice to see articulated the thing I find increasingly frustrating when discussing anything with people。 That asking them to explain their reasoning is somehow seen as an attack on their argument。
Michele
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A really great book about the importance of changing your opinion。I've been very lucky that my dad is one of these people， completely balanced and will take time to read all sides before coming up with his own opinion。 I feel like we have all lost the art of this， including me。 This book has given me a blueprint to question myself and others， instead of thinking of it as an us vs them battle。 4。75 stars A really great book about the importance of changing your opinion。I've been very lucky that my dad is one of these people， completely balanced and will take time to read all sides before coming up with his own opinion。 I feel like we have all lost the art of this， including me。 This book has given me a blueprint to question myself and others， instead of thinking of it as an us vs them battle。 4。75 stars 。。。more
Gabor Hernadi
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In his previous book James O`Brian was writing about how other people are wrong。 In this new one he dissecting a muck more personal and interesting question: how he himself was wrong。 A thought provoking and interesting read。 In his previous book James O`Brian was writing about how other people are wrong。 In this new one he dissecting a muck more personal and interesting question: how he himself was wrong。 A thought provoking and interesting read。 。。。more
Guðmundur
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Intelligent， fun and thought-provoking。
Nikki
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Refreshingly honest and well thought out。
Anne Ignatius
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A tale told in a way only James O'Brien can！ Such an enjoyable book， going on a journey of discovery with James to his past self and a truly honest self reflection that is refreshing in a world where being right， and never having being wrong， seems to define a person's character。 Great read。 A tale told in a way only James O'Brien can！ Such an enjoyable book， going on a journey of discovery with James to his past self and a truly honest self reflection that is refreshing in a world where being right， and never having being wrong， seems to define a person's character。 Great read。 。。。more
Sheri
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James O'Brien's book got off to a great start for me， because the opening paragraph expresses my feelings exactly。"There is no point in having a mind if you never change it。 We should change our minds when we realise we are wrong。 We realise we are wrong - or at least that we are not necessarily right - after being exposed to superior science or stronger arguments， experiences and evidence that refute our previous position。 In short， by listening， thinking and learning。 There should be no shame James O'Brien's book got off to a great start for me， because the opening paragraph expresses my feelings exactly。"There is no point in having a mind if you never change it。 We should change our minds when we realise we are wrong。 We realise we are wrong - or at least that we are not necessarily right - after being exposed to superior science or stronger arguments， experiences and evidence that refute our previous position。 In short， by listening， thinking and learning。 There should be no shame in admitting to being wrong。 Instead， we should be applauded for our honesty， humility and emotional intelligence。"I could not agree more with this， and I do feel that now， perhaps more than ever， many people find it almost impossible to admit they may have held a mistaken view or made a misjudgement， instead becoming ever more entrenched in and defensive of their position， seeing those on the other side as the enemy。 （I've often felt for instance that it's completely pointless to argue with people on the internet as they very rarely ever change their minds， instead going to great lengths and expending enormous time and energy to "prove" that they are right and somebody else is wrong， even over what seem like very insignificant issues。） I like the quote "The older I get， the more convinced I become that you can't argue anyone into changing their mind， you can simply question them into a place where they will be able to do it for themselves"。 I think that's very true， though hard to remember at times。Anyway， in his book James discusses various areas in which he's come to realise he was in fact wrong， from that old favourite "it never did me any harm" （being hit as a child）， to police stop and search practices， to an unreasonable prejudice against people with tattoos。 This is often intensely personal， as when he talks about his experiences at boarding school （I had something in my eye when reading the unsent letter to his old prep school headmaster。）I really admired his openness and honesty in examining where his assumptions have come from and why they might be - and sometimes have been， publicly and embarrassingly - wrong。 That can't be easy to do。 The chapter on how， early in his radio career， he devoted much airtime to mocking and bullying overweight people - dehumanising them， basically - makes particularly uncomfortable reading， and yes it is as bad as it sounds， and yes he does now feel suitably bad about it。Throughout， he emphasises the importance of a willingness to listen to and learn from other people's lived experiences as evidence for changing your mind， and I really enjoyed the extracts from exchanges with radio phone-in callers。 （Bravo， Emma， Lauren and Tony！）I will admit my heart sank a little when I came to the chapter on trans issues， not from concern about what James might have to say on the matter but purely because the subject has become so fraught and highly charged that， to be honest， I'm scared to go anywhere near it。 I've seen enough vitriol on Twitter to put me off ever expressing a thought on the subject， even if I could confidently formulate one beyond the obvious - that everyone should be respected and equal。 （James echoes this feeling， stating that "I don't ever want to be a person who stops thinking because they are cowed by criticism， and I think I have come closer to that place with transgenderism than with any other subject。"）I thoroughly enjoyed How Not to be Wrong。 James writes in such an engaging and readable way， and is so honest about his own faults， and so clear-sighted about the way things are， that it's a thought-provoking pleasure to read from start to finish。 。。。more
Stephen
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An excellent but sometimes uncomfortable read as it forces you to examine your long-held views and realise the shaky ground they are sometimes built on。 I would recommend this book。
Jim KABLE
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Listening and Learning - For the BetterRecommended by a new friend who in spite of being a generation younger sees and describes our world so much more articulately！ This marvellously and quite scrupulously and searingly honest examination into where our opinions and world-views derive from and the benefits of digging down is good， better， best。 The things James O’Brien has learned from his talk-back and interview media programs - and from closely examining his own life offer the same liberating Listening and Learning - For the BetterRecommended by a new friend who in spite of being a generation younger sees and describes our world so much more articulately！ This marvellously and quite scrupulously and searingly honest examination into where our opinions and world-views derive from and the benefits of digging down is good， better， best。 The things James O’Brien has learned from his talk-back and interview media programs - and from closely examining his own life offer the same liberating empathy-raising opportunities to us all。 。。。more
Andrew Spencer
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Better than his first book。 A very introspective self-critical work that touches on various topics of public contention。 I particularly related to the boarding school/capital punishment chapter as I went through exactly the same turmoil as the author。
Hasan
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Recently I have been on an journey which resulted in therapy - the end product is 'you're not right all the time' and that we can be wrong which is not an admittance of weakness but of strength。 So this book was very timely for me by James O'Brien， as at the end of the day "there is no point in having a mind if you never change it。"In his last book 'How to be right' the argument was one can present the facts and beat the soothsayers， cynics and some individuals who hold some dodgy view。 This boo Recently I have been on an journey which resulted in therapy - the end product is 'you're not right all the time' and that we can be wrong which is not an admittance of weakness but of strength。 So this book was very timely for me by James O'Brien， as at the end of the day "there is no point in having a mind if you never change it。"In his last book 'How to be right' the argument was one can present the facts and beat the soothsayers， cynics and some individuals who hold some dodgy view。 This book shows we ourselves can have or hold wrong attitudes。 The book is a self critical look and a journey he has had and in an era of tribal politics it shows a fig leaf of progress as a means to accept that we can be wrong。Learn to self reflect， learn to realise that we can be wrong and learn to understand not eveyrthing is right and wrong， good and evil， yes and no。 。。。more
Megan Kinsey
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Definitely an interesting read with O’Brien turning the table on himself and， at times， being really brutally honest about how he thinks his past experiences as a child have shaped the way thinks as an adult。 I could definitely think of people in my life who exhibit similar traits （private school has a lot to answer for！）。Some things I could agree with， others I couldn’t， but it’s a fair analysis and balance of views。
David Ellcock
，
I was left a little unsure as to what O’Brien wanted this book to be。 Is it a self-help book？ A re-telling of some of the more memorable exchanges from his radio shows？ The story of one liberal’s journey into even more liberal views？ A thinly-veiled swipe at the shibboleths of his “opponents”？ It’s not a bad book， per se， but it’s a little directionless in places。
Jane
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An engaging insight into O'Brien's shifting opinions and his refreshing honesty in an era where that feels poignantly lacking。It's unsettling to read about his education and life at boarding school and the impact this had on his early attitude and mental stability。 Outlooks markedly present in many public school boys and the damaging consequences for society at large when these men go on to govern the country， run the companies and control the media。 Thankfully O'Brien is 'one for turning' and q An engaging insight into O'Brien's shifting opinions and his refreshing honesty in an era where that feels poignantly lacking。It's unsettling to read about his education and life at boarding school and the impact this had on his early attitude and mental stability。 Outlooks markedly present in many public school boys and the damaging consequences for society at large when these men go on to govern the country， run the companies and control the media。 Thankfully O'Brien is 'one for turning' and questioning and thinking。 Some of the topics explored here will be decade-defining: white privilege， black lives， fat activism， transgender rights and veganism。 My overall takeaway: consider there are lots you haven’t considered and form slow opinions。 。。。more
Mike Steven
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You know the kind of people who see an argument as something to win and not an opportunity to listen to someone else's viewpoint？ If we're honest， we've all been there - I know I have。 This book challenges you to change your approach and teaches that the best way to not be wrong， is to be prepared to change your mind。As O'Brien says in his introduction， we live in a world full of conflicting and contradiction 'information' so sometimes we hold a position on something and then are confronted with You know the kind of people who see an argument as something to win and not an opportunity to listen to someone else's viewpoint？ If we're honest， we've all been there - I know I have。 This book challenges you to change your approach and teaches that the best way to not be wrong， is to be prepared to change your mind。As O'Brien says in his introduction， we live in a world full of conflicting and contradiction 'information' so sometimes we hold a position on something and then are confronted with superior science， and experience or stronger arguments。 Too often， people will hold their original position and use their intellect to try and prove they are still right。 This book argues that it is stronger and preferable to change our minds when we realise that we are wrong。The message of the book is obviously correct but it's made me consider certain positions that I've held in the past and I genuinely think that it should be compulsory reading for a proportion of the population。The refreshing thing about the book as a whole is that O'Brien examines topics as wide ranging as corporal punishment， obesity， white privilege and tattoos and is prepared to accept his previous misconceptions and ignorance on each issue。 He even supports this by including transcripts of conversations that he had which he can now see demonstrate how wrong he was。This is definitely a book that has made me think about things in a new way。 。。。more
Pieter
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Some very interesting points in here some not so interesting points。 Still enjoyable but I prefer "how to be right" Some very interesting points in here some not so interesting points。 Still enjoyable but I prefer "how to be right" 。。。more
Chris Boutté
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I binged this book in about a day， and it's definitely one of my new favorite books。 I love reading books about the flaws in my thinking， and understanding the psychology behind this has helped save my life。 I'm a recovering drug addict， and my big "Aha！" moment was when I realized that I wasn't the smartest person on earth and that I might just be wrong about the way I was living。 This is why I love this book from James O'Brien。 Most of the books like this （like the one I'm currently writing） e I binged this book in about a day， and it's definitely one of my new favorite books。 I love reading books about the flaws in my thinking， and understanding the psychology behind this has helped save my life。 I'm a recovering drug addict， and my big "Aha！" moment was when I realized that I wasn't the smartest person on earth and that I might just be wrong about the way I was living。 This is why I love this book from James O'Brien。 Most of the books like this （like the one I'm currently writing） explain the psychology behind different biases and heuristics， but this book caught me by surprise because it's about James reviewing how he was wrong about different topics like racism， mental health， obesity and much more。 This book was completely unique with the way it approached this subject， and it was extremely inspiring。 Reading the book was almost like reading a philosophy book because James asks such great questions and comes from a place of curiosity。 I truly hope more people read this book and are inspired to practice some intellectual humility。 I know it inspired me。 。。。more
James Marriott
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This was good by James O'Brien， every chapter made me re evaluate my pre-held ideas on the topics。 The stop and search chapter has changed my opinion completely and think about the argument in a different light。 Best radio presenter in the country and a really good book。 Really enjoyed it。 This was good by James O'Brien， every chapter made me re evaluate my pre-held ideas on the topics。 The stop and search chapter has changed my opinion completely and think about the argument in a different light。 Best radio presenter in the country and a really good book。 Really enjoyed it。 。。。more
Margaret
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Thought-provoking， as intended。 There are a few points I’d love to discuss - points that I would have liked expanding on。 But still， a very enjoyable read。
Jim Levi
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Very quick， easy and engaging to read。 I've never listened to O'Brien's radio phone-in show but always found him interesting on podcasts。 I found this particularly interesting because like the author was sent to boarding school at a very young age - and very much identity with the "armour" and other characteristics this can build up in the individual。 A very human， enlightened and enlightening book。 Very quick， easy and engaging to read。 I've never listened to O'Brien's radio phone-in show but always found him interesting on podcasts。 I found this particularly interesting because like the author was sent to boarding school at a very young age - and very much identity with the "armour" and other characteristics this can build up in the individual。 A very human， enlightened and enlightening book。 。。。more
Adam Wainwright
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